Falling into the funk again....

Over the past few weeks, I had felt so much better about everything in my life. I owe that to Trinity church and our Pastor, Rev. Mack Strange. It is an awesome community that I love being apart of. My bills and all troubles I've had with my job and money, and everything, was in the background where it should be. I was finally believing in myself and started losing weight, and just handing everything over to God. It felt amazing. My heart was open and I was completely okay with who I was.

Now just a little bit later, I feel everything falling apart again. I can't explain it. The root of it is my job. I wait tables, and I just can't do it anymore. I get angry and become someone I'm not. I say words I don't usually say, I lose patience with co-workers, and just get frustrated with every aspect of it. Patience has always been one my strong characteristics, but I find myself just losing it lately. One of my co-workers told me that she had noticed, "Jayna's getting back into that funk again." That really lets me know something's wrong.

With this person that I really do not like embodying me, it's made my eating habits go right back to where they were. Maybe not as bad, but too close for comfort. I had lost eight pounds as of last week, which isn't much, but it's a good start. I don't want that weight back.

I have so many life changes that I am trying to make, weight, job, future, and many more. I can't let this 'funk' go any further. I have to stop it now, but it's so difficult when things like the job that I hate, are weighing me down.

I have a small group of ninth grade girls in the BUMC youth group. Those girls are the highlight of week, and I have more fun in the hour I spend with them on a Sunday night, than any other time during the week. I feel guilty when I start feeling like this, because I question the type of role model I am for these girls. How am I supposed to help them grow in their faith, when I struggle so much with mine?

Anyways, I guess this is all for now. Hopefully, my next blog will be a happier one.