I started my day with the C25K W3D1. It kind of sucked. I knew it would get to this point, where it wasn't as simple and easy as the last two weeks of the program have been. I didn't have trouble where I thought I would though. It wasn't my breathing, like it was when I first did the program. My legs started cramping pretty early. I'm guessing it's because I've lost muscle in calves maybe. When I first started the program, I had only been away from TGIFridays for about a month. My jobs since then, have not required me to be on my feet the entire time. Not that I remain seated all the time, but I am definitely not on my feet as much as I was. I also have not been doing anything on the in between days. When I did the program the first time, I was also doing other workouts the days I didn't run, that included lots of leg work. It's probably a combination of multiple things. Maybe my head hasn't been in the game as much. Who knows.
I did get to hangout with Pax and Asher today. Those boys are definitely the bright spots in my day, week, life. No matter what mood I'm in, those boys put a smile on my face.
I'm having doubts about what my life is supposed to become. I want to be this awesome wedding planner, but in the back of my head, is that really what I want? I've always got this voice that puts the doubt in so many of my decisions. Puts doubt in my actions. Makes me lose what little confidence I have in myself. Though I cannot explain it, I have a fear of success. I don't understand it, but I know that that's what it boils down to.
I know I'm having a difficult time letting go and giving the reins of my life over to God. He's made me this amazing person, yet most of the time I cannot see it. I know I have not yet come even close to living to my full potential, I'm standing in my own way.
Ok, slightly depressing. I apologize.
Grace, Peace, Love,
Jayna
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